Inspired by a blog post by Kim Schneiderman, I thought of developing an exercise and try it out on myself.

“Scripts are conditioned responses to recognizable situations. They are the subtle, often unconscious, cues we pick up from society about how we should be living our lives. If we were computers, scripts would be our software. […]

I often encourage clients to identify self-defeating scripts by writing imaginary dialogues with their antagonists, whether it be a troubling person or situation, a negative script, or an obstacle to success.

Using the literary technique of personification – endowing an inanimate object or abstract notion with human qualities – I ask them to imagine what their antagonist might say in a heart-to-heart conversation about a problematic situation. – Kim Schneiderman

Imagine your job as being a human. If you were to describe this person to a close friend, how would it sound like? Give it a name, then ask yourself a few questions:

How does X look like physically?

How close is your relationship with X?

Is X rich? How does this make you feel? How is this influencing your relationship? Do you go out together? Why? Why not?

What are some personality traits of X?

How is X influencing your family relationships or your commitments to other friends? Are they all a big group?

How do you see the relationship with X in  the next year?

If there is something to be changed, what would make the relationship better?

These are just a few questions. Try to go in as many details as possible and look at the patterns. Maybe you will become better friends over time once everyone’s needs are met.